I Don’t Want To Smoke…
Dear Dr. Judy,
I am 13 years old, and almost all of my friends smoke. After smoking for a year, I don’t want to anymore and I recently quit. Now my smoking friends are getting mad at me and calling me “stupid” when I walk away. I don’t want to loose my friends, but I don’t know what to do.
Answer: First of all, good for you for quitting smoking. It isn’t the easiest thing to do, and at a very young age, you have made an extremely important decision that will no doubt positively affect you for the rest of your life.
Before I get into the smoking situation, I wanted to let you know that any “friend” that calls you “stupid”, and shuns you for not smoking is not a real friend. A good friend would surely accept the fact that you can make a decision about your life by not smoking and accept you anyway. That said, let’s talk a little about smoking.
Many kids feel that just having an occasional cigarette won’t hurt them. The fact of the matter is that research indicates that some 12- and 13- year olds show evidence of addiction within days of their first cigarette.
You don’t have to preach to your friends, just remind them that you are going to pass on a cigarette when they smoke, and then leave the room with your buddy who doesn’t smoke. If any one gives you a hard time, kindly respond to them, “Hey, I’m not judging you, it’s just that I don’t smoke anymore. I still think you’re cool, but I just don’t want to be around smokers.”
To reinforce your quitting smoking (and once again, good for you!), remind yourself that cigarette smoke causes more illness and death than all other drugs. I wish every teen could visit with a patient who has emphysema. Once you see a person struggling for air, it is a hard image to get out of your mind. Also, remember that there are over 4,000 chemicals in tobacco including the poison arsenic, butane, (cigarette lighter fluid), insecticide such as DDT, Hydrogen Cyanide (gas chamber poison), Acetone (nail polish remover), and Ammonia, which is used as a toilette bowl cleaner! Who would want these chemicals in their body?
Lastly, for all you teens out there who haven’t started smoking, please remember that you never have to stop what you don’t start. Also remember that it’s not always the kids you hang around with but the choices that you make. Please know that your friends don’t have to approve of the decisions that you make that are valid for you.
Dr. Judy Krings
Clinical Psychologist
Riverhill Psychological Associates